Spams, Scams, and Prince Dembo

This one is a little weird. Anybody who knows me personally knows that I’m not a big fan of mass email forwards. I usually don’t even read them. However, there are two categories of email that get under my skin more than any other; the ones that are chain letters disguised as antivirus warnings, and scam emails that claim foreign dignitaries want to give me money.

As I said, I rarely read emails that aren’t sent to me personally, but those fake virus warnings bug the heck out of me, so I always wind up debunking them. I pop over to Symantec’s hoax page, do a quick keyword search and let the person who emailed me know that there is no "Gift from Microsoft" eamil virus. They’re just perpetuating a chain letter.

The second category are those people who claim that they’re royalty in some foreign country and have millions of dollars that they’re willing to share with me if I can just help them break through some red tape. How can I help? Oh, just by sending them a few thousand via Western Union. Not a bad deal, considering I’ll be getting millions in return.

However, my ire at such emails disappeared completely when I found out that one of my own relatives must be in the exact same situation! I have an RSS feed that searches for the name Dembo (I like to stay informed with regards to what Dembo’s are doing around the world), I came across what must be a relative in dire straits.

Dear..

I am prince Dembo,Son of late General Antonio Dembo the former Vice president
of UNITA rebels in Angola.My father was the Chairman of Angolan Petroleum
Monitoring Committee (APMC) 1992 to 2002. Sadly, he died after an injury
sustained during the ambush on The UNITA rebel on 27th February 2002 where
the President of UNITA,Dr. Jonas Savimbi was killed. As you might have known,
Petroleum is the major revenue source in Angola (Southern Africa). My father
made a lot of money through the job but could not invest the money immediately
to avoid probe by the military government. He was able to save the sum of$45m(fourty
five Million United States Dollars). He deposited this sum with a security
firm in Johannesburg in South Africa.The documents used in these depositions,together
with the key of the safe,are with my mother.In my father’s will, he instructed
that this money must be invested overseas with the help of a foreigner who
is reliable and trustworthy. So as to avoid probe by the federal government
of Angola, since he was a general in the warm torn Angola, and could not
have amassed such wealth legally. My mother and I have agreed to give 25%
of the total sum to you while 70% will be for us then, the remaining 3%
will be used to offset the bills incurred in the Course of the transfer
while 2% will be for charity.The most important thing is to assist us to
relocate to your country to live.However you are advised to reply me immediately
and when I receive all your favorable reply you will be given all
necessary details and documents and also send me your phone and fax number for
easy communications.

Regards,

Prince T.Dembo

Can you believe it? There’s a Prince Dembo who needs my help! And in exchange for helping him come to America, I’d get over ten million dollars! What a bargain. Now if I could just find my checkbook….

2 Comments

Casey Hales
5/18/2006

Oh my goodness!
What are the odds that there is a Prince Dembo AND a Prince Hales!
I got the same letter except Prince Hales had 65 million dollars…
I did make the mistake of answering one of these and acting the fool (yeah, I know, type casting)and told them I wanted a better split. We went back and forth while I was holding out for a bigger cut for me. Was pretty amusing until I started hearing from other “Princes”. They thought they had a live one on the hook.
The emails were pretty funny. The guy on the other end was into his character. We had to end it when I wanted 110%…

Joe Brennan
5/19/2006

Amazing! I can’t tell you the numbers of Brennans that have been lost in Nigeria, also leaving me millions. Casey, Steve, what’s the going price for the Discovery Channel?

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